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I Shot An Overdose And Died
by Aleksander Prosvetov

Narcotics - it is a pleasure. It is a ‘high’: objectively and without exaggeration. The problem is that it ends in slavery. And withdrawals. When it turns you inside out. When you don’t want to live. When a ‘drug addict’ sounds like a death sentence and only some get a chance to reverse its execution. I lived in Novorossiysk, studies and was seriously into sports. It started like it does usually: easy life, drinking, girls, marihuana. Money was not a problem then, because I took part in criminal business. I began at sixteen, drinking and smoking ‘weed’, at eighteen I left sports and picked up a needle. Then the four year period of the ‘system’ took off, when I was shooting three times every day. I remember the moment when I understood that I am addicted. This understanding came gradually. The thing is, I always was a 100% sure that I can quit easily. Because I was very serious in sports – I trained two, three times a day- first wrestling, then basketball. “Five minutes away” from the gold medal, the winner of a dozen championships, I was sure that my will was made of iron. I thought of myself as a goal achiever: it was easy for me to begin and quit something, reach my goals. But once I got hooked, I was shocked. It just didn’t register with me that I became a ‘drug addict’. Immediately I decided to “quit”, but couldn’t hold on for long. I tried to quit about thirty times: was in different hospitals, contacted famous medical specialists in the area, went on mountain hikes, tried to shut it down with vodka, tried everything, but each time came back to the ‘system’. My friends left me, because many of them also got hooked on the needle. There is no friendship between the addicts: if you have something- you are a friend, if nothing- then sorry. I couldn’t make money through the criminal deals, because it was too high of a level for me. As they say, no one trusts a drug addict. I lost trust quickly. I was not in the condition to enter into ‘deals’. The minor theft didn’t bring much money, only for a dose. Other friends left me, because I was changing right before their eyes. Waking up in the morning, I thought about one thing: where to get money for a doze?

Source: http://bsmonline.org/testimony/i-shot-overdose-and-died